Do it Justice
by GothicCheshire
Summary: Jim hesitated, looking at her directly and shifting before giving a brief sigh. “Did you know that I’m not how I’m supposed to be, Lieutenant?"


_This ladies and gentlemen, is the very first story that I have ever written with a focus on Nyota Uhura. I tried to do her character justice and I hope I succeeded. This is gen all the way around, as much as it focuses on Uhura's changing regard for Jim, which has naturally been done before, but I couldn't help myself._  
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Uhura watched quietly as more and more people began falling into the gravitational charm that was James Tiberius Kirk. She watched in scorn as they began falling for the charismatic 'captain' that had more balls than brains. She watched those charming smiles, those teasing flirts, and couldn't help but feel like the bridge and the entire crew was falling into lunacy.

It was a strange feeling, being the only sane one in the ship (aside from Spock, luckily). But she was taking the time to study the crew and her 'captain', and attempt to figure out what the hell it was that the crew saw in him.

It had started out tamely enough at first, only McCoy had been good friends with him, and it was her personal opinion that the doctor was as crazy as the 'captain' was. But then Hikaru Sulu had fallen into that gravity well. Sulu was a man with a good head on his shoulders; he was cool, but not overbearing and arrogant about this fact. Kirk couldn't walk down the corridor without strutting like a peacock. It was hard to wrap her head around, but it wasn't impossible. Kirk _had_ saved him from falling to his death after all. The man probably thought he owed him something.

So it was with that logical explanation that she dismissed it and moved on. But then Pavel Chekov had begun falling into the 'Captain's' orbit, and it was different with him. Chekov did not gravitate around him so much as he did WORSHIP him. He looked up to him as an idol and a hero, and Uhura thought that he was obviously, but unfortunately, insane. After all, there was a lot of pressure when one was a child prodigy.

But then the rest of the crew started falling for him. It was gradual at first, but she slowly began hearing the rest of them singing his praises. It was then that she got a little worried. Was it possible that they were seeing something that she wasn't?

She resolved to talk to him a bit more and find out. Stage one was put into operation next shift. It was another charting mission, and it made Jim even more intolerable than usual. It was only later that she realized that she might have had a better chance of seeing why people liked him so much if she got a chance to talk to him when he was in a good mood.

As it was, as soon as Uhura turned around and began trying to talk to him, that he proceeded to prove exactly how little he had changed.

Uhura left that shift feeling annoyed, petty, degraded, and absolutely humiliated. It had started out cordially enough, but then Jim had decided to make a comment. "I always wondered what it was like to date one of my teachers…never was quite up for it, so how was it, Nyota?" His smile had made her want to shove him out an airlock. The others on the Bridge stiffened as well, eyes widening slightly. Spock had stiffened as well, and that was what had prompted her reply.

"I'm sorry, 'captain', but I think I missed the order that made that your business, and it's 'Uhura' or 'Lieutenant', 'captain'."

His smile drooped, but he picked it right back up, "Well, whenever you'd like to trade techniques I'm here!" He spread his arms to the side, and Uhura glared at him, her eyes promising horrible things would happen to his person should he not shut up.

The rest of the shift was spent in silence, at least between the two. The rest were talking quietly, Jim joking with the two at the helm, Scotty moving to join them. They spent the rest of the time joking and laughing; the only two that weren't were Uhura and Spock.

It was only two days later that Uhura thought she might be seeing what it was that the rest were seeing. It was a horrible excuse for a mission, right near the Neutral Zone, and that was when it happened. Klingons attacked the ship.

Nyota was almost positive that they would die there. Jim was a young captain and sure he had saved Earth, but he was inexperienced, untried, and Uhura was almost positive that she'd get the chance to say 'I told you so', before they were disintegrated.

She was wrong.

Jim dropped the teasing air, and became serious, his eyes spitting sparks. It was amazing to watch as he calmly told the Klingons that they had two choices, 'surrender or die'. Not quite that bluntly, but it was obvious what he meant. But the way he said it told them quite simply that those were the only two options, and he could and would back it up. The Klingons hadn't been too happy about that (expectedly), and had signed off angrily, and immediately Kirk had ordered for weapons to be locked (they didn't need to worry about shields, he had already ordered them up the moment the Klingons came close) and for Chekov to fire at will.

Sulu and Chekov were a team, the two of them piloting and firing in perfect sync, but it was Kirk's quiet presence behind them, calmly issuing orders and bracing them, that kept their minds on their training. She could almost say it was his firm belief in them that let them prevail. They managed to knock out the ships shields, and her weapons, requesting the Klingons immediate surrender. Unsurprisingly, they didn't, opting instead to self-destruct.

But when that was over, he immediately went back to his cocky arrogant self, and Uhura wanted to smack him.

Their first away mission gave her another reason to wonder. Jim had bullied his way into going down to the planet and things were going well. For a while. A few hours later saw the beginnings of panic flashing along the ship. The away mission party hadn't checked in. Spock-who had the conn at this time-set out to figure out what had happened. It was distressing, and Uhura had to admit to feeling some concern for her captain, and for the team. As much as she thought that Jim was a conceited moron, she didn't wish death on him.

It was with this in mind that she took to requesting contact with the planet with the full force of her not-unimpressive will. It was therefore unsurprising when she finally made contact with the leader of the people. It proved to be unproductive, and Uhura wanted nothing more than to hurt them, she knew that they were hiding something, but she had no proof.

They were on their own.

When Jim's voice crackled over the speakers requesting immediate beam up, relief spread throughout the bridge, possibly through the rest of the ship. It was short-lived. When the away team was beamed up, Uhura found out through Spock exactly how bad it was.

The 'captain' was nearly dead, the rest of the team suffering from various wounds, but nothing as bad as the 'captain's'. This had made Uhura think about why, but she shortly dismissed it when the 'captain' proceeded to flirt with every single one of McCoy's nurses, antagonize the doctor himself, even when he was trying to help him, and basically terrorize the entire staff.

The only thing that almost made her think otherwise was the fact that the crew that had been on the away mission with him was absolutely devoted to him. It made her wonder what exactly it was that had happened down there, but she never asked.

So it continued. More and more away missions, more near-death experiences, and then their first crew death. Jim presided, and the ceremony held more of a celebratory feel than the grieving that she was sure that most would have wanted. She didn't notice the way the late lieutenant's friends came to the captain in near tears and thanked him for honoring his wishes. He wanted to be remembered for what he was like, wanted his friends to remember him with fondness and happiness that he was moving on. Not grieve for the fact that he was gone and forget to live their lives.

But still Uhura said nothing and just grieved and glowered in silence.

Two months later, Spock successfully made the 'captain' take him on the away mission as well. This was the moment when Spock began to fall into the 'captain's' gravitational pull. She didn't know what it was that he was seeing, she didn't know what it was that finally pushed Spock from the level-headed science officer into one of Jim's friends, but she knew that she didn't like it.

It made her doubt herself more, and Uhura wasn't one to doubt herself. She was the type that believed that if you doubted yourself no one would ever be able to trust you. It didn't help that she knew full well what she was capable of, and she refused to ever perform at less than her best.

Then she got her chance. She was to go on an away mission with 'Captain' Kirk. They needed a translator, and had requested the captain, other than that, no one else was allowed to beam down.

She didn't really remember all that had happened. She just remembered pain and fear when the away mission went horribly wrong. She did remember lying in a steadily growing pool of her own blood when they lost their pursuers, the 'captain' putting pressure on her wounds, desperately trying to keep her alive, keep her stable. He was whispering to her, and he never once called her 'Nyota', instead referring to her as 'Uhura' when he was pleading with her to stay alive and 'Lieutenant' when he was ordering her to.

It was disconcerting, looking into those blue eyes that were begging and pleading with her, the careful pressure and otherwise lack of contact, the way he took no advantage and simply spoke to her. No teasing, no calling her something she otherwise would not like, no jokes. She honestly didn't know what she had expected, but she was honest enough to admit that this was nothing like it.

She was beginning to see what the others saw in him, and it was amazing. The hick from Iowa was gone, behind this strange glorious man who begged the aliens, when they were found, to take him instead of his lieutenant, to spare her life. Then he did something else that shocked her. He used those skills as jackass, flirt, and genius to get them to allow him one last call to his ship. It was some of the most effective bullshitting she had ever seen.

They agreed, and as soon as they had been locked onto, they were immediately beamed back onto the ship. The rest of that time went by in a haze of unconsciousness.

But that was what finally began prompting her to evaluate what he said and what he did in a different light, looking for a trace of that man she had seen.

It was then that she finally noticed the fact that he was never serious in those jokes, that while he flirted it was done in teasing and jest, and often left the woman feeling proud of herself and lighter than air. The 'captain' was taking interest, and the 'captain' was wonderful. It wasn't that he was trying to be degrading to them, he was trying to compliment in the only way he knew how. He never meant it seriously, and even if he had, he was too professional to risk a relationship with any of the crew on his ship.

Then Uhura began to realize that he was never serious with some of the stuff he said to her. More often than not he was teasing, and suddenly the insults from the other captains began chaffing. What did they know of her 'captain'? But Jim did nothing but bear it, tossing them teasing smiles in return, defending himself when he was able, but mostly taking it like it was owed to him, and that was when she saw something else.

She was horrified to find that it hurt him. She was a master at all languages, body language, tones of voice, anything. He never said a word, but she could see the hurt, but above all of that, she could see the will to prove himself and his crew worthy. It seemed that that will was strengthened and never weakened, and that solid belief backing the crew up slowly pushed them into being the best crew in all of Starfleet.

He demanded perfection, and they were willing to give it.

But there was one thing that she did not like or appreciate, the way he talked to Spock.

He wasn't as bad as the doctor, but he had his own ways, and some of what he said was a little more closely veiled. It was hard to watch and it made her angry. She had broken up with Spock a while ago, this was true, but it had been mutual and no hard feelings were had on either part. It was a matter of work and propriety, nothing else, so she could listen to those words and pay attention to his tone and feel anger for it.

Then Spock was captured on an away mission, and she was distraught. Uhura had taken to wandering the ship, drifting from point to point quietly. It was only a matter of chance that led her to meeting the captain in the forward observation deck.

Jim was leaning on the railing, his back to her, but his posture speaking volumes more than his face would. He was feeling guilty, helpless, and useless, and it was breaking him apart. He was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't heard Uhura come in. McCoy had forced him off duty, telling him that a captain who was dead on his feet was of no use to anyone. She had to agree with him, now that she could see him off the bridge where he held his authority like a cloak, he looked tired. He looked worried.

For a moment Uhura considered leaving, and then the captain turned around. She had been wrong. She read more sadness and depression in his eyes than she had in his body language, but he disguised it with a smile, "Hey Uhura…I thought that you were ordered to sleep by our resident evil dictator."

Uhura gave him a small smile in return, "Last I checked you were given the same order."

"Couldn't sleep either?"

"No."

"I'm not surprised…"

Uhura sighed, and indicated the railing next to him; he nodded, and turned back to facing the stars. They were quiet, not really saying anything, but the captain seemed to be hunching more in on himself as time went on, and finally he turned to look at her with wide blue haunted eyes.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to get him captured…I tried, I did, but it just…"

"Captain…" It was the first time she had said his title without a hint of disdain, and Jim noticed, falling silent immediately. "Captain, it's fine, I know you didn't." She paused for a moment and looked at him closely. "You really care, don't you?"

Kirk hesitated, trying to write it off with a sneering smile that slowly vanished under her scrutiny, and he sighed. "I do care, Uhura…he was my friend too…and now he's…somewhere and I might never see him again."

She watched as that façade further crumbled, leaving a man stripped of his mask and looking strangely defiant without it, but caring. He then straightened up and looked at her with an expression of complete and total promise and certainty. "We'll get him back, Uhura. I promise you that. The ones who took him have no idea what they're in for."

She stared at the man before her, the honest certainty in his eyes shining, the blue bright and felt something inside her crumble. The tears she had been restraining for days broke free, and Jim pulled her close after a moment of hesitation. She cried into his chest, silently berating herself for losing her professionalism like that, but it had been stressful. It had been so stressful and she was so worried.

He took it calmly, whispering to her that it would be alright, and handling it with a maturity that she hadn't thought he possessed.

When she had cried herself out he gave her one last squeeze and gave her a soft smile, "You alright, Lieutenant?"

She straightened herself up, wiping at her bloodshot eyes and nodding her head, "I'm sorry about your shirt, Captain…"

He looked down at the damp patch and then back up at her with another smile, "At least it's not ripped."

She couldn't help but give a small snort of laughter, at that, and took a decent look at the man in front of her, watching as he sort of shifted under her scrutiny. "You know…you're not as big of an asshole as you make yourself out to be."

That made him flinch and he cleared his throat slightly, but she shook her head at him, "I knew you weren't, but you make it difficult to tell. It's the little things like this that show your true character. Why do you have to make it so hard for yourself?"

Jim hesitated, looking at her directly and shifting before giving a brief sigh. "Did you know that I'm not how I'm supposed to be, Lieutenant? In another universe…the name James Tiberius Kirk was a name that everyone looked up to and praised. I'm trying Uhura, but I don't really KNOW the man I'm supposed to be. But I'm trying to be something that can be looked up to, but… I'm not sure how."

Uhura looked at him closely and then gave a small nod. "Whatever you wind up being, and whatever you wind up doing, I'm positive of one thing, Captain. You're going to do it justice. You're going to live up to that name, and you're going to be what you need to be. I hate to say it, but your crew looks up to you and loves you. Even Spock seems to think you're worth something, and I'm positive you'll get him back."

Jim straightened at that, slightly taken aback at her words, and then gave her a small smile, a true pure smile that made Uhura offer one back. "Thank you, Uhura. I'll try my best. I think I can sleep now…" With that he nodded his head at her and turned to leave.

"I'm glad. And Captain…" He paused, looking back at her over his shoulder. "It's Nyota."

Those two words split his face into one of his shit-eating grins and his eyes lit up slightly. "Call me Jim."

"You're pushing your luck, Kirk," Nyota said with a small smile, and he laughed, and walked out.

With that Nyota Uhura fell into the gravity well that was James Tiberius Kirk, and couldn't help but feel that if this was insanity, it wasn't that bad after all.  
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_ I hope you enjoyed it, and if you did, don't forget to review! I'm not sure how I handled Uhura so any critiques, and or advice on that would be appreciated. Oh, and don't worry, they do get Spock back.  
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